4 of the Most Attractive Behaviors to Women

Let's cut through the noise. While its easy to be drawn to short term solutions with pickup artists selling snake oil and Reddit threads debating the perfect opening line, these at best are just supporting add ons, and at worst, actually hurt your chances with women.

Actual research in evolutionary psychology and modern dating studies tells a different story. This guide isn't about manipulation or quick fixes – it's about understanding what genuinely creates attraction, backed by science and real-world examples so that me and you, the reader, can make changes in our behaviors and personalities that are good not only for ourselves but will attract women to you.

It isn't a formula or a checklist its about certain traits that create what evolutionary psychologists call "mate value." Lets take a look at 4 of these most attractive behaviors that will change your dating life

Number 1: Confidence

A 2019 study in the Journal of Personality found that emotional stability was one of the strongest predictors of long-term relationship success. Meanwhile, research from the University of California showed that confidence (not to be confused with arrogance) consistently ranked in the top three traits women find attractive across cultures.

A guy who looks someone in the eye and asks for their number, already knowing they will say yes, greatly tilts chances in your favor.

Lets be clear though that confidence is not the same as arrogance or cockiness, the loudest person in a room is usually the least confident.

The person who calmly surveys, thinks before he speaks and never loses his cool/temper is what women are attracted to.

Likewise a confident man knows his worth and will always make his POV and lines clear to others, even at the risk of upsetting them

Real-World Example:

Meet Tom, a software engineer who perfectly embodies this. When his project deadline got pushed up unexpectedly, instead of having a meltdown like his coworkers, he calmly assessed the situation. He told his team he couldn't work that weekend because he had planned a hiking trip – showing healthy selfishness. His girlfriend later mentioned this was what initially attracted her – his ability to stay composed under pressure while maintaining clear boundaries.

Bad and Good Scenarios:

Bad: Agreeing to cancel your gym session to help a friend move, then being resentful and passive-aggressive about it.

Good: "I've got my workout scheduled, but I can come by and help you afterwards for the second half”

When it comes to dating, as we have mentioned in other articles and guides, women are going to test you, consciously or not. They will reschedule, play games, show up late, etc. Addressing these gently (ideally with something witty and funny) will show your confidence in yourself. Don’t be the guy that bends over backyards or puts women on a pedestal, the hotter they are, the more they are used to and bored by that. And being boring in dating is a death sentence, or worse – a shortcut to get friendzoned and leeched off of.

Number 2: Social Status & Money

A 2018 meta-analysis of 68 studies showed that women consistently rate social status and wealth as more important than physical attractiveness for long-term relationships. However, it's not just about money, its simply a strong correlated sign that a guy is able to handle responsibility and stress, great indicators for being a good mate/father in the future.

Very few women, only the ones that are unattractive or have something wrong with them, or low self esteem, is going to be attracted to a guy who doesn’t have a job.

No money and no job, means no real way to experience new things together (outside of going to the park) and create a relationship.

(there are some exceptions to this like if you are in college but for those of you who are 25+ this is relevant)

There is also a big difference between being wealthy and being a materialistic dickhead with a trust fund from daddy. It might help in the short term with some gold diggers, but unlikely to help you score long term.

Examples in Action:

Ineffective: Flashing designer brands and talking about your salary

Effective: Being the guy who knows everyone at the local coffee shop, maintains strong professional relationships, and has influence in his community via position

Ineffective: constantly complaining about how much your job sucks and how little money you make

Effective: talking about your career, how you look out for your manager and subordinates, and your plan to progress in the future

Number 3: Having a Plan and Future Goals

Research from the University of Michigan showed that women rate men with clear life goals and ambition as significantly more attractive than those who do not.

Women like to led so this also translate to the micro day to day interactions. I have never, NEVER, out of the hundreds of women I have gone on dates with, who wanted to take the lead and plan a date.

This is across multiple ethnicities, cultures and locations.

I have always been expected to plan the date and guess what, I LIKE IT and they LIKE IT. Being a guy with a plan and tells a girl “this time at this place” is attractive. I get to control the situation.

Dates and getting laid, like many things in life, is won in the planning and before it occurs. The execution is important sure, but a bad plan is a recipe for failure.

Scenarios and Example:

Weak: Telling a first date, who knows you are 30 years old, "I'm just seeing where life takes me". This screams LOSER

Strong: as a response to what you do for work "I'm currently managing a bar while learning the business side. I'm taking online courses in business management, and I'm aiming to open my own place in three years”

Bad: you going “hey where do you want to grab a drink tonight?”.

Good: “I know this cute place here and lets meet at 7:30pm?”. And you chose a secondary location to move her to another bar if the date is going well, and its close to your home, so you can take her home and have sex after. Even if the date doesn’t go well, now you can make it home in 10-15 mins, versus trekking across the town/city and wasting more time.

Number 4: Physical Self-Care & Appearance

Not everyone is going to be able to be a model, you might be shorter, your facial structure likely is going to be what it is but most guys use this as just an excuse as for why they have no success with women.

Let this sink in, a study in the Proceedings of the Royal Society found that women rate men who make effort with their appearance as more attractive than naturally good-looking men who don't maintain themselves. It's about the effort, not perfection.

You CAN CONTROL being in shape, grooming yourself properly, wearing good fitting clothes, standing up straight, smelling good and presenting yourself in a strong manner.

This needs to be said, because some guys don’t put enough effort in this area. Have a system, always look for ways to improve and you will be surprised.

Actionable steps and examples you can take:

• Lift weights and do HIIT workouts, make sure you have a low body fat percentage (women love abs) and aren’t fat. If you need somewhere to start, an adjustable kettlebell is a great first choice
• Just hitting the treadmill for 30 minutes a day and putting in a 30% effort isn’t going to do anything for you
• Get a decent haircut, preferably this is someone you know and go to regularly that you know is good and can help you set up a nice modern haircut style. If your hair is starting to go and looks like a half burnt forest, just shave it and go bald.
• Fashion – you don’t need to break the bank, just find a few good brands and clothes that fit you. Look at some ideas on pinterest of on the racks at the store. Getting a woman’s opinion here could help
• Skincare – make sure you moisturize regularly, avoid chemicals. This is what I use
• Cologne – invest in a good one, just don’t put on too much. Here is a good one to get you started.

Doing these things daily doesn’t take that much time and is a good habit to have, not only for dating. Even if people don’t want to sleep with you, looking good will open opportunities for other things in career, friends and of course dates.

 

Conclusion:

Being good in only one of the two above items isn’t a guarantee for success but a long term plan to improve and reach a critical mass in each one, is going to really set you apart from other men and skyrocket your “value” to women.

Don’t be afraid or reserved to show these positive traits, women want substance, and talking about your goals and plans for the future even on a first date is a good way to show your value.

This is going to be a journey and these are things that I personally still work on every day and you should to. Small 1% changes every day is going to make a huge difference one year down the line. When women start propositioning and approaching you in person, you know you’ve hit that critical mass.