How to Avoid Wasting Your Time in Dating

Avoid Wasting Your Time in Dating

Daring apps has made it easier to select from a wider range of potential partners, but a lot more filtering is needed, which is why almost everyone universally agrees dating apps are frustrating. For men, you are going to encounter women who:

  1. Are just looking for validation and dont want to actually meet/date
  2. Looking for a free meal (yes this happens all the time) and free fun (activities they want to do, but dont want to/can't pay for it)
  3. Literally just want to waste other people's time (and might not actually even be a girl)

For us here, we are either looking for:

  • Having regular and great sex (consistent or casual)
  • Meeting someone real and developing a real relationship long term
  • Or some combo of the above

Either way, its important to IDENTIFY YOUR GOALS and then filter accordingly to not waste your time, money, effort and save a lot of emotional bandwidth. I can tell you, dating feels like a second job sometimes so make sure you focus accordingly, especially if you are getting a ton of matches (if you aren’t getting enough matches, then go read our guide now and come back here after)

Initial Screening Before In Person Meet:

Master the Art of the Early Exit via Msgs

There's no reward for suffering through bad conversations. If you're 5-6 messages deep and still getting one-word answers, you're not texting – you're performing a monologue. Move on. Your time is worth more than being someone's entertainment while they're bored at work.

The Rescheduler

If she reschedules more than once without proposing an alternative time, consider yourself ghosted. If she can't hold a conversation but keeps sending "hey" at 2 AM, she's probably just bored. Don't be someone's backup plan or entertainment committee.

I have encountered many an odd girl that makes plans and then cancels last second. One time if she is hot is fine, things do happen, especially if they reschedule to a close date immediately. But if it happens a second time, I always block and move on. Some people are there to literally waste your time or just want digital validation.

The Profile Reality Check

If every photo she has is a real close up photo from an awkward angle, she is definitely uglier in person.

Same goes for profiles where the distance is really far, the English and prompt answers are broken/don’t make sense or there is just a huge number of filters on

Just avoid these, swipe left and move on. Or if you do match, don’t invest time here, just move on to the next girl.

Ideal First Dates:

Drinks at a nice nearby bar are my preferred first dates, followed by maybe a coffee date. I always choose places nearby to my place so I am not wasting time traveling long distances.

First dates should be like good elevator pitches – short, engaging, and with a clear exit strategy.. If it's going well, you can always extend. If it's not, you've only invested the time it takes to drink an espresso or a drink.

If a first date goes well (hopefully she comes over on that first date, read out guide about that), then you can plan a second date and do an activity/dinner, angling for what you want.

Definitely do NOT do some kind of fancy dinner, show, or event on a first date. You are trapped, and more often than not, you are not going to meet the love of you life on a first date. It also will give off desperation vibes and cause the opposite effect of what you are looking for.

Efficiency Over Ego

Don't waste time trying to convince someone to like you. These apps are meant to HELP you filter but you need to actually be the filter.

The Two-Strike Rule

Implement a personal two-strike policy for flaking or bad messaging. One red flag is fine, but two is a game over for me. I don’t go to three.

Dating that Isn’t Going Anywhere

I have a pretty strict 3 date rule to get physical with a girl. Generally speaking I want to get laid as quickly as possible but you can be patient sometimes. As a general template I aim for

1st Date: Kiss at the very least, but aim for sex

2nd Date: make out or sex

3rd Date: sex at the very least

If you are off by one date, cause she is a bit slower, more conservative, etc. that is totally fine, especially if she is attractive or depending on your location. But if you aren’t having any physical contact at all by the 2nd/3rd date, just move on before you spend more time and money.

We all have had the experience of the girl who is like the 4th/5th date in and is still hugging you. News flash, THEY ARE USING YOU FOR FREE EXPERIENCES.

Final Thoughts: Dating should be fun, not a second job. If it starts feeling like unpaid overtime, you're doing it wrong. The goal isn't to avoid rejection – it's to find the right match efficiently without wasting anyone's time, including your own.

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